First draft: The Confirmation

1. What is my thesis?

 English education system in Korea should be changed for students to bring up their ability for English composition.

2. What types of source am I using to defend my thesis? 

I am using some authorities' saying and fact

3. Are my arguments mostly based on evidence, logic or emotion?

I think almost my arguments are mostly based on evidence , in fact. However, i think details for my second argument are not enough. So, to make it as a more compelling persuasive essay, i have to add more evidence and statistical numbers.

My Confirmation

First, English education in Korea is too focus on the theoretical factors to influence negative impacts on English composition.  However, according to a authoritative linguist ,Stephen Krashen, he said that "language acquisition does not require extensive use of conscious grammatical rules, and does not require tedious drill."  It means that grammar is not a prior thing to learn for the first time but a thing that is needed to be learn for refined writing. http://www.sk.com.br/sk-krash.html Krashen separated the concept of " acquisition" and " learning". Both of them seem to be the same thing, but there are some differences between them in his reasoning. According to Krashen, 'learning' is less important than 'acquisition'. Acquisition or acquired system is a process that occurs while one is unconscious as when the man acquires his first language. On the other hand, learning or learning system is the product of formal instruction and it comprises a conscious process differently with the former. For example knowledge of grammar rules. However, differently with the order that he suggested, English education system in korea prioritize learning on the acquisition. Therefore, the educational trend makes korean students struggle with the English composition because they are obsessed with finding grammatical error and emphasizing with some theoretical parts, rather they really write in English.

 

 

Second, Korean educational trend decreases the students' creativity that are needful for English composition. One of the main problems that makes writing hard for Korean students is because they can not find a creative material to talk about. According to a research conducted by ETH Swiss Federal Institute of Technology Zurich, Chair of Technology and Innovation Management , physical activity is an important part of bring up creativity and innovations. And there is also a different way for nurture creativity. Some experts noted that to develop a cognitive ability and creativity, we should train our brain and the best way to train brain is "reading books".
 However, unfortunately, today's korean students say that they have no enough time to read books as well as  do physical activities parents. It is because korean students contribute their time for conducting academy assignments and also some parents dislike that their children read a book  because they concern it is a useless thing  and say "you'd rather to  memorize  vocabulary for that time." Therefore, in this educational trend, Korean students start to learn English from very young ages and study with rote.-> decrease creativity. Also, students who are not interested in reading books are more likely to have difficulties on expressing their thoughts and using various words what they want to say.

 http://conference.pixel-online.net/edu_future/common/download/Paper_pdf/ITL59-Baumann.pdf

 http://www.gjdream.com/v2/news/view.html?news_type=202&uid=460297

 

 

Third, education in korea make korean students be obsessed with  perfectionism inclination.

Perfectionism may seem to be a really important and valuable thing, but it is a thing that should be disposed when a person try to English composition. Perfectionists suffer from an obsession they should make it perfectly, even though they write just a sentence. However, if they are not satisfied with their works, they would correct the sentence until they are satisfied. However, if things do not work out well with their plan, they feel distressed and  lose confidence and a slight feeling of interest.

http://sass.queensu.ca/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2013/12/Perfectionism-in-Writing.pdf

Surprisingly, according to a researcher of Newspaper In Education, yeonsu kim, the older generation is responsible for students' perfectionism in writing because older people only have had interests in pointing grammatical errors and logical leaps. Therefore, frustrated with evaluation from their English teacher or parents, they come to feel afraid with English composition and can not start it confidently.

http://www.ihalla.com/read.php3?aid=1408978800473067193

This situation so gives students a burden and fear for writing that students feel it more difficulty than the reality and eventually brings about the consequence that the students conduct their stuff poorly.